Just Say No to Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cups, South Windsor Government Meeting Sked

Good morning, South Windsor! Today is Monday, Jan. 27, 2014; there are 338 days left in the year.

Kids, I’ve written extensively how the candy industry has taken a wrecking ball - the real kind, not the Miley Cyrus kind - to my childhood. From jelly beans, to candy corn to candy canes, corporations have taken life’s simple pleasures and bastardized them.

Know how the forces of evil in the Lord of the Rings took the elves and twisted and mangled them until they became orcs? Such is the state of my childhood candies.

Now the candy industry has gone too far. Waaayyyyyy too far.

Behold the Butterfinger Peanut Butter Cup.

What the cup is this?

Kids, much like the rules of Highlander, there can be only one peanut butter cup. And it’s Reese’s.

Listen, I have no stake in this game. I don’t own stock in Reese’s, nor do I particularly care for peanut butter cups.

But you can’t improve on perfection.

I’m all for capitalism - and competition is at the heart of it.

But there is no room in the market for such willy nilly products as another peanut butter cup.

We don’t need another Snickers. We don’t need another Twix. They’re awesome already and don’t need to be improved up. Same with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups alone.

I’m like this dude, only substitute in Reese’s for Britney Spears. LEAVE REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS ALONE!!!!

Here’s five things going on in South Windsor this week:

1. The South Windsor Town Council meets Monday at 7 p.m.

2. The South Windsor Planning and Zoning Commission meets Tuesday at 7:30 p.m.

3. There is a Chinese New Year celebration on Jan. 31 at the Charles N. Enes Community Center from 10 a.m. to 12:30 p.m.

4. Capital Projects Committee has a special meeting on Jan. 29.