Life and Death at Heartwood Preserve Conservation Cemetary

Death is a touchy subject for most people, taboo to some even. Death is a constant companion for most of us though and, pretend all we may, the reality is that it touches our lives here and there along our timeline until eventually it’s our turn to face the inevitability of our own mortality.

Death has touched my life repeatedly since I was five when my grandmother passed at the age of 92. Every time it has happened I've had the same thought, each of these people have been vastly different and unique, yet the way we said goodbye to them was exactly the same. How does that make any sense? It never did sit right with me. My life is not cookie-cutter why should my passage be so? Which is why I had planned on being cremated. That is until I had the chance to hear Laura Starkey, founder of Heartwood Preserve, speak at an environmental event Rock the Boat Productions was hosting a few years ago.

Heartwood Preserve is a conservation cemetery, the first of its kind in the Tampa Bay region, that is situated on the edge of the J B Starkey Wilderness Preserve in unincorporated New Port Richey. They had just opened when I heard her speak that year and as I listened to her story of their first burial, I was enthralled. She told the story of a young man in his 20s who had passed unexpectedly. He was lovingly placed into a pine box and carried to the grave site by those who grieved his loss. His friends and family sang songs, and inscribed his coffin with passages of love and farewell, poetry, and images to accompany him on his journey.

It was a beautiful story and I realized that this is what has been missing from our rituals of passing. The humanity, the character, the celebration of the unique individual. What I also realized was that we, the living, have been missing out on this personal ritual that allows us to pour out our grief and share that in a communal way with others who loved the lost as we did. It is a beautiful gift to give those who survive you and I knew right then that this was how I wanted my friends and family to send me off when my time comes.

A few weeks ago I was lucky enough to be able to participate in a mock service they were hosting at Heartwood Preserve for a promotional video they were shooting. There were about 20 of us who volunteered, it was one of the few crisp days we’ve had here in Florida this winter. We gathered at the welcome center and warmed up with hot coffee and snacks. Then went out and broke into two groups, mourners and pallbearers. The later was my group so we gathered at the hearse with the Funeral Director who educated us on proper pallbearer etiquette. We had a “body” made up of bags of bird seed and wrapped in a shroud on a backboard waiting for us in the hearse. As the video Director said “action!” we gently rolled “Bernie” out and began to transport him down a trail to his final resting place.

Of course it was not a real funeral and we had to work at appearing bereaved for the benefit of the video, but it allowed me to immerse myself in the occasion. The tactile experience of carrying a loved one, being able to lay a hand upon them, placing them gently into the earth, and being able to express your grief however it seems right to you is so cathartic and so necessary to allow the living to let go.

If you haven’t been to Heartwood Preserve, I encourage you to do so. It is not a sad place, rather a landscape filled with life; wild life, native plants, and the echoes of the love that has been poured into each and every ceremony held there. Walk the trails, breathe the fresh air, admire the ancient oak trees laden with Spanish Moss, listen to the birds chattering away, and watch butterflies flitting from flower to flower. This is a holy place that is lovingly tended to by Laura Starkey and her team of caring individuals.

This year they have begun construction of the new Welcome Center; an energy efficient building that will house the Administrative offices along with a reception area and gathering space for celebrations of life and other small events, Yoga, meditation, and education.

This unique 41-acre nature preserve and conservation cemetery is located at 4100 Starkey Blvd. Trinity, FL 34655. Heartwood has regular activities that allow visitors to enjoy the life of the nature preserve. Visit their Facebook Page (https://www.facebook.com/heartwoodpreserve/) or website (https://heartwoodpreserve.com) for a schedule of monthly Talk & Tours, meditation walks, birding, walking trails.

Lia Gallegos is the Marketing Director for Wright's Natural Market and Partner at Rock the Boat Productions. She is passionate about promoting the community she lives and works in and the new small-town urban lifestyle developing in downtown New Port Richey.