The Weekly Trumpette - bringing credibility to Alternate Facts and Fake News

In the year of our Lord 22 May 2017

Construction staff worked round the clock to pad the Oval Office. Concerns that Trump might injure himself bouncing off walls raised an alarm with his personal security team. Staff leaked that recent incidents, particularly the misunderstandings about Russian communications, had angered Trump. His animated screaming at staff had left Trump with a sprained wrist, head contusion and broken big toe. Contractors rushed to turn the Oval office into a rubber room. Several other areas are also under construction including the Presidential bedroom.

Trump was seen by reporters being helped aboard Air Force One with one arm in a sling with a short hand-cast, a bandaged head and an orthopedic boot. When queried by a FOX reporter on what happened, Trump said he had been made up with Moulage to make his injuries look real for a disaster training exercise. He waved to everyone with his free arm and disappeared aboard the plane. A nervous Press Secretary, Sean Spicer confirmed that Trump would participate in a mass casualty drill at the Lincoln Memorial. “The President felt this personal touch would better endear him to voters.”

CNN and FOX Cable News executives with handpicked staff historically met for the first time at the Guggenheim Museum’s community room. FOX employees were awed at the art works, they had never been in a museum before. They were seen peeking, although confused, at examples of Cubism and Futurism. The Metaphysical collections were completely beyond their comprehension. The purpose of the meeting was to bury the hatchet as they agreed for the good of the country they should bring more truth to their broadcasts. The country needed more reliable news sources and too many Americans were turning away from Cable News and embracing Alternate Facts. James Murdock, CEO of 21st Century FOX declared the need to give facts to their listeners. “The era of “BOLD LIES” must end!”

Jeff Zucker, CEO of CNN agreed, “We have misinformed the American public long enough. We must consider disseminating the truth. He received enthusiastic support with cheers and foot stomping. FOX and CNN attendees hugged each other after the meeting then enjoyed tea and crumpets. A follow-up meeting scheduled early next year would iron out more details to bring veracity to viewers. A CNN employee interviewed by a Washington Post reporter stated that the feeling of “goodwill” prevailed and she was hopeful that truthful news could be accomplished sometime in the near future.

That’s all there is! God Bless (RS).