THE WEEKLY TRUMPETTE: bringing credibility to Alternate Facts and Fake News

THE WEEKLY TRUMPETTE: Your credible Source for Alternate Facts And Fake News: 29 May 2017

Our reporter learned through unnamed sources that a distraught Donald Trump visited the home of Barack and Michelle Obama. The Donald took his shoes off before entering respecting whom he believed were practicing Muslims. After the usual pleasantries, Trump entered the parlor and sat quietly on the Louis the 14th chair. Michelle served Tea, Humus and Pita bread. Trump put the Royal Dalton china cup aside and requested a mug.

The new President’s deflated appearance showed well the strain of four months in office. “I need your advice Barack. I know the system is rigged against me and now the Republicans have joined the chorus. How did you survive the never ending Republican abuse?”

Barack looked at Donald, “It’s a tough job, no one knows better than I, especially those Republican bullies Ryan, Cruz, Boehner and McConnell. Not to forget that awful Rubio. Anyway, if I can help, you know I will.” Barack nodded offering solace to his successor. “Part of the secret is to act Presidential. I know that will be a great challenge for you.”

Trump gave credit to surviving the first 4 months to the tireless support of the uneducated, and the Make America White Again movement. “They have offered unwavering support and are a credit to the Nation. I couldn’t have done it without them!”

Obama was seen to wink at Michelle. “Yes, never forget your friends. I wouldn’t have made it through the Presidency without my homies.”

In other news: The special Council headed by Ex FBI Director Mueller dove into the 10s of thousands of emails and other evidence relating to Trump’s Russian connection. Among items of interest were Trump’s Russian Sable Coat, a CCCP Bolshevik Military cap, and a Russian-English dictionary. Mueller, who claimed he wanted no part of this craziness accepted the responsibility when promised immunity for all the crimes he may have committed when FBI Director. He was overheard saying, “Nobody’s hands are clean and I mean nobody.” Mueller has been seen making daily visits to the church confessional.

Democrats couldn’t’ be happier with the recent turn of events. Many were seen at a local German Rathskeller swigging mugs of beer, dancing and singing such favorites as Lilli Marien, Mussi Den and other beerhall favorites. Nancy Pelosi proved a talented Soprano. The drunken revelry carried far into the night.

That’s all there is! “Good night and good luck” ERM