Family Connections: How Failure Can Open Up New Doors

The following is the third in a series of columns you will see from Debra Gaetano, the Director of Glencoe Junior Kindergarten and Nursery School on raising children. Family Connections will touch on a number of topics and offer tips for parents.

Submitted by Debra Gaetano, Glencoe Junior Kindergarten and Nursery School.

I don’t want my child to fail…. Or do I?

The answer may surprise you, but yes, you should want your child to fail. Success feels great and we all want that for our children. But how can they enjoy their success if they have not had a chance to experience failure. When we fail, we try again and try harder (or smarter). With enough failing, we find a solution – either success or a different path. No matter what, failure is a lesson learned.

Our culture focuses so much on success and the constant need for it. I would argue that success is the easier of the two paths to take. Here is a simple formula – study for a test, pass it, success! Go to hockey practice at 4:30 am, practice, win the Division title Go on a job interview, get the job, success. But what if you fail the test? What if you lose the game? And what if you don’t get the job (or even the interview)?

Life will be filled with bumps and bruises along the way. Failures are a part of life for all of us. I want my kids to fail – under my roof, with my shoulder to cry on, and my support to help guide them in looking for a different path. This doesn’t mean that I don’t want them to be successful. It means that I want them to understand that failure opens up new doors.

Here is how I see things – the person who finds the cure to cancer failed a million times. She tried every formula. He mixed every concoction. She learned that through failure you push one more time, in one different way.n And finally, success! I don’t know about you, but that future of failures seems pretty successful to me!

Remember - “our goal is not to protect them from the world, but to prepare them for it!”

For questions, comments, or ideas, I can be reached at familyconnections4all@gmail.com