Finding the One

Recently, I have been thinking about one of my favorite old television shows, Everybody Loves Raymond. Ray’s brother, Robert, spent many years searching for a partner, who he called “the one”.

I know how Robert felt. Years ago, I too, wondered if I would ever find a mate. I felt panicky and confused about marriage. No doubt a lot of people struggle with this issue. But what is it we are really looking for? Whatever our marital status – single, divorced, widowed or even married - don’t we all just really want to find happiness?

My search for contentment led me to the conclusion that before I could be a good mate for another person, I needed to make sure I was already living character traits that are important in a good marriage, such as unselfishness, grace, joy and peace. I felt that since these have their source in the Divine, I needed first to connect with “the One.” I turned to the Bible, a book which had helped me in the past deal with all sorts of issues.

My study led me to an awareness of God as Father, Mother, Love, and Shepherd--names indicating a loving Creator who helps and guides His creation. I also discovered my relationship to Him as God’s uniquely-loved child, already possessing spiritual qualities, such as courage, strength and affection.

Now, instead of constantly worrying about how or when I would find a partner, I consistently asked God, “Father, show me how to think” – how to be less fearful and lonely, and more joyful, loving and unselfish. It actually became an adventure. I could feel divine Love every step of the way, helping me feel less judgmental and confused, and more peaceful and confident.

I also studied a chapter entitled “Marriage”, in a book I read with the Bible, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Christian Science founder Mary Baker Eddy. One sentence I found particularly helpful reads, “The good in human affections must have ascendency over the evil; and the spiritual over the animal, or happiness will never be won” (p. 61).

This became my goal and I truly found my joy in God and knew I could be happy no matter my marital status because I had found “the One”.

A few months later, I remembered a young widow I had recently met. She too had been praying – cherishing the idea of God’s care for her and her young daughter. I asked her out for Valentine’s Day dinner. That night we knew that God had brought us together. We were married eight months later – almost 27 years ago.

Realizing your connection with the Divine - your true identity as His loved child - you will find a happiness that lasts.

Picture ©Glowimages

Thomas (Tim) Mitchinson is the Christian Science Committee on Publication for Illinois. You can contact him at illinois@compub.org.