From Links Youth Service: The Gift

The holidays are behind us, winter is in full gloom and chill, final exams have ended and the renewal of spring is just ahead. My high school seniors are anxiously awaiting college admission letters and have emphatically informed me that they will only be happy at their first choice schools. I remind them that they are talented, resourceful, resilient young women who should enjoy the journey and appreciate
their options; they can be happy anywhere. This final semester should be fun, relaxing and exciting, not dismal! They are masters at eye rolling. I convince myself that this is really an odd form of affection rather than dismissivness of my mothering. I hope that the trepidation and restlessness of waiting on the “launch pad” culminates in the joy of landing on campuses that fit them both well.

My college freshman has just finished her winter term course, “Happiness.” The premise is that the happiest people enjoy the greatest success in every aspect of their lives, are less likely to hurt others, and tend to live longer. The key element lies in helping students understand what choices will likely lead to greater happiness and what choices will probably lead to unhappiness. The class explores grace, gratitude, courage, and peace. These concepts resonate in Links’ Community Education programs and come to life during student role-playing. The scenes we’ve written for our highly popular middle school programs, The Circle of Courage and Building Healthy Relationships depict the importance of being one’s “authentic” self when navigating through peer pressure, impulse, insecurity, and prejudice.

The joy our students experience is palpable when playing “confronter” to a bully or standing up for a victim of prejudice. Kids feel good when they reach outside of themselves to help a classmate. Links’ programs illuminate the importance of empathy, compassion, and ultimately courage as pillars of healthy decision making. The role-playing exercise culminates in classroom discussions about valuing and appreciating every member of the school community as integral to acceptance, harmony, peace, and the integrity that points us all in the direction of becoming our “best” selves.

I received an email from my daughter the day after our discussion about her “Happiness” course. She wrote, “Parents give selflessly, love unconditionally, and provide their children with guidance and support. You and dad have given me the tools that will have a positive impact on my future. I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life. I appreciate the time you spend with each of us, your care and concern… Thank you for all you do for me, have done for me…” Her words mean more to me than she will ever know and are a great reminder of the endless, unexpected gifts of parenting. My daughter’s happiness resonates in her letter just as it does in the faces of middle school students as they reach out in the spirit of validation and appreciation of one another. It seems to me that happiness is rooted not in what we wish for, but in gratitude for who we are and what we have.

For more information on Links’ Community Education programs, email
Melanie: outreach@linksyouth.org