Moms' Advice to Moms is Based on Hundreds of Years of Experience

Being a mom is a hard job; no matter how many parenting books are read, no one is fully prepared before they become a mom. That’s why we reached out to 15 mothers at four Des Moines area retirement communities to give advice to new mothers. The moms giving advice have a combined experience of hundreds of years.

The moms at Ankeny’s Vintage Hills at Prairie Trail believe strongly in singing, even if you don’t feel you’re good at it and offered other sound advice. Here’s what they said:

• “Hold your children, read to them and sing to them, it’s so important!” Anita Barkley, mother of two, said, “I wish I would have written down more of the funny things they did when they were young.”
• Lillie Dearing, mother of one, agrees, “Love your child and let them know how much you love them. Rocking your child is very important. Sing to your child—it doesn’t matter how good you sing, your child will love it.”
• Laura Foster is a mother of one and advises, “Be thankful you have a child. Be ready to answer your child’s questions. Be ready to listen to them! Treat each child fairly.”
• Gwen Boulter, mother of two, suggests reading up, saying “There are wonderful books for new mothers” Boulter also said “It’s so important to not be in a rush and just enjoy your baby. Talk to them. Sing to them.

The moms we interviewed at Vintage Hills of Indianola believe in love, support and patience. Here is what they said:

• Ann Gaumer, mother of three, shared three pieces of wisdom, “Love your children. Be supportive. Be kind but firm,” she said.
• Ernestine Smith, mother of four, also started with love. “Give your children a lot of TLC, tender loving care,” she said. “Listen to their wants and needs. Spend time with them and their activities. Let them help around the house and outside.”
• “Stay calm, even if you are very angry,” said Mavis Suckow, “Be a loving mother. Be supportive of their activities.”
• Jackie Andrews, mom to five, kept it simple, advising “Have lots of patience.”

The mothers we interviewed at Vriendschap Village in Pella gave new moms following advice:

• Charlene Stevens believes in the power of a family meal, saying “When you have a family, sit down as a family and have supper together every night if possible.”
• “Be patient,” advised Marilyn Veestra, a mother of four, “Each kid is an individual, let each kid be themselves and promote that. Have them learn their own skills. Give them a Christian education and values.”
• Mother of five, Marge Fopma, had some similar advice, saying, “Patience is a big thing. Try to teach them Christ-like characteristics. Show them love in a Christian environment.”

The moms we interviewed at The Village at Legacy Pointe in Waukee also had strong advice:

• “Be patient,” said mother of four, JoAnne De Decker. She also touched on priorities, advising “Play with your children as much as you can. Don’t worry about housework. Tell them you love them.”
• Judi Napier, mother of five, offered her wisdom, saying “Keep track of your children. Listen to your mother. Be happy.”
• “Don’t let others tell you what is best for your children. Think things through and do what you feel is best in your heart for your kids,” advised Patricia Farris, mother of three. She also said “You can provide a guiding hand for your children, but they have to figure out much of life alone.”
• “Don’t sweat the small stuff and pick your battles,” advised Elaine Kjar, mother of four. She also said “Treat your children with respect. If you expect them to respect you, you need to respect their ideas.”

In this advice, love, patience, spending time with your children, and allowing them to develop their own skills are common themes. Being a mom is not easy, but it sure is rewarding.

Attached photos:

• Laura Foster, resident at Vintage Hills at Prairie Trail
• Gwen Boulter, resident at Vintage Hills at Prairie Trail
• Elaine Kjar, resident at The Village at Legacy Pointe, with her daughter Sue Egger (right) and two grand daughters, Grittany Egger (left) and Bailey Egger (second on the left).
• Ernestine Smith, resident at Vintage Hills of Indianola
• Ann Gaumer, resident at Vintage Hills of Indianola