How do you honor your deceased loved ones?

When you lose a loved one, whether human or a fur baby, it is devastating. It changes your life and brings sadness to your daily routine. You miss being able to tell them good news, eating a meal with them, or just sitting on the couch watching a movie.

I have been very fortunate and at 61 years old I had never lost a close loved one before this year. This year I lost both parents at ages 88 and 89 in February, only 13 days apart, my boyfriend at age 66 in April, and my five-year old dog, in June. That is FOUR very close loved ones within five months. Five months. Most people would lose that many in a lifetime.

Most days are fine. But some days I don't want to get out of bed. I wonder about my worth. Will anyone really miss me if I were gone? I treasure the moments with friends, being out by myself, gardening, swimming, kickboxing, and painting. I try to find something to occupy my mind.

My boyfriend of eight years, Chris Hahn, had loved and maintained a pond with goldfish, frogs and water lilies in our yard. When I get the nerve, I will bury some of his ashes among the plants near the pond. I will also place some of his ashes in the memorial garden that I created in an old wheelbarrow. I also created a memorial garden for Juno in an old wagon. See photo. Oh, and just so you didn't think I left my parents out of the garden, I planted some primroses for them in March.

When you are devastated by the death of a loved one, or other life event, you have to stay occupied. Find things to look forward to or you won't get out of bed. Contact friends to keep in touch and do things together. Find new ones or maintain your hobbies. Smile and make people wonder what you are up to.