Former Guidance Counselor Offers Summer Survival Tips for College-Bound Teens and Parents

Eagan, MN, June 27, 2014. I’ve helped students prepare for college for 20 years as a high school guidance counselor and, most recently, as an independent educational consultant. Every year, when summer arrives, I've observed that parents and their college-bound teens often find themselves on different pages: Parents may want to spend even more time with their teenager, knowing they will be saying their good-byes all too soon, whereas soon-to-be college freshmen may be all too eager to leave the nest and begin flight before they're ready.

Knowing what to expect can ease the stress on parents and teens alike. Here are some tips to make the most of this transitional summer and have some fun in the process.

Parents:

• Help your son or daughter boost their planning, decision-making, and organizational skills. Although you may have been the driver or co-pilot when your teen applied to college, summer is the time to begin handing over the reins. For example, ask him to take over some household chores such as laundry and room-cleaning. Encourage her to assume more responsibility for spending money.
• Give your teenager more space, offer words of encouragement (rather than directives), and do your part in letting go. You may feel hurt when your teen elects to spend more free time with his friends or stops sharing as many details about her social life. Remember that these are positive signs: Your teen is moving on to the next stage in life, and this is a normal part of the separation process.
• Finally, use your judgment: You know your teenager best, and you may want to ease up a bit on things such as rules and curfews. Continue to have the ever-important discussions about staying safe and drug and alcohol use.

Teens:

• Keep your parents in the loop. You may feel like you're ready to conquer the world -- yet your parents are holding you back by being overprotective. Remember that they love you and are probably very sad that you will be moving away in the fall. Open and honest communication (and empathy, patience, and a sense of humor) can work wonders!
• Keep communicating with your college, too. During the summer, many colleges send incoming students housing questionnaires to assign roommates, information about summer orientation events, and instructions for completing placement tests. Get in the habit of checking your snail-mail and email on a daily basis.
• Make a point to relax, refresh, and recharge. You’ll be more likely to excel in college if you aren’t burned out or overly frazzled from the get go.

Final Words of Wisdom
My best advice for parents is to keep a sense of humor and enjoy your college-bound teen. The summer between high school and college can be one of the best times you will spend together, albeit less often. Don't ruin it by stressing out and nagging. Relax, have fun, and enjoy getting reacquainted with the young adult your teen is becoming.

To the college-bound teen: You will soon be embarking on a very exciting journey! Along with packing the physical things you will need for college, make an effort to pack mentally, too. While it's important to spend time with your high school friends, it's equally important to be open to forming new friendships in the fall. One great thing about college is that it's a new ball game for everyone, and all incoming freshmen will be rookies. Over the course of this summer, think about how you might fill your blank slate -- the academic offerings you can try, the student groups you can join, and the type of student you want to become.

About Sue Luse

From her early work as a high school guidance counselor in 1993 to her move to an independent educational consultant in 2001, Sue Luse has worked with students from more than 50 secondary schools and visited over 200 college campuses across the nation. She is a member of the Independent Educational Consultants Association, the National Association of College Admission Counseling, the Higher Education Consultants Association, and the Minnesota Association of College Admissions Counselors. A prominent speaker on college issues, Luse has been featured in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, the Star Tribune, Minneapolis-St. Paul Magazine, and Minnesota Parent. She has also been heard on WCCO Radio and Minnesota Public Radio and been interviewed by The Wall Street Journal.

CONTACT:   Sue Luse, Certified Educational Planner, Member IECA

                        www.collegeexpert.net , sue@collegeexpert.net

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