An Uncivil War!

I am old enough to remember a time in which good manners and civility were a natural part of life in our community, in fact just about everywhere.  I’m sure that at times people thought of responding in a more direct way to a possible or imagined slight or situation, but in the interest of co-existing with a semblance or veneer of dignity, there was a lot of tongue biting.

What I wouldn’t give for just a small taste of that now.

The changes in society over the past several decades have had far more benefit upon our lives than a negative connotation.

Subjects once considered taboo are able to be talked about and discussed in tones other than hush-hush and problems that have existed for many, many years, are able to be worked on because the adage, “What will the neighbor’s think?” or “If you don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist”,  hold little if any sway.

There are open dialogues about everything from Civil Rights to Civil Liberties to Mental Health issues and cancer. Believe it or not when I was a child we didn’t use the word cancer, even when family or friends were dying from it.

Today it’s okay to discuss career goals and dreams and it is no longer the purview of parents to decide what path their child will take with respect to their future.

Other rules are more relaxed and no longer do women have to squeeze into a foundation garment, put on a full face of make-up and wear a scarf if every hair on their head isn’t perfect, before going out to the supermarket.  

I will confess I miss people dressing up to go to the theatre or to a concert. To me, at least, it seemed to only add to the importance of the event and enhanced my own personal enjoyment. I found pleasure in looking around and seeing locals I would see in other settings, dressed as though they might be going to the Oscars.

I also mourn the seeming natural courtesies that we extended to others, almost instinctively.

You held the door for someone. The middle finger didn’t immediately get raised whenever something minor ruffled your feathers a bit. You also understood what a yield sign meant, clearly something few people merging onto 393 near Fort Eddy Road understand. And we didn’t need to try to figure out the logistics and etiquette associated with roundabouts. For years we had a traffic circle that hundreds of thousands of motorists went through without problems or confusion.

Perhaps our ever-increasing reliance on electronic gadgets in our daily life has contributed to a lessening of our skills in dealing with people or an indifference to others around us.

It’s so easy to “friend” or “unfriend” someone today without all of the personal touches that actually build a foundation for friendship or the pain experienced when you realize someone is no longer your friend. How much pain is involved in moving a cursor to delete someone from your life?

Differences of opinion have become more and more rancorous, whether in the political world, where working across the aisle is becoming increasingly rare, or just in differing views about local matters.

In the past year or so I have read a great deal about the planned changes due to be implemented in our downtown and have voiced my own feelings about these changes on numerous occasions.

My own opinions are based upon having lived in Concord for more than 50 years, worked downtown for more than 25 of those years, and being a more than casual observer as to the ups and downs that have beset Main Street since the early 1960’s. I also volunteered more than 1500 hours in the past year to a local non-profit that has further enabled me to experience the pulse of our community. In addition, years of so-called “life experiences” have helped to give me a perspective that one cannot possess, no matter how savvy and smart they may be, in their youth.  

I am not opposed to change. I have cheered on many changes that have taken place in my lifetime, even some that have ultimately failed such as the “dream” to have Eagle Square become Concord’s Faneuil Hall Marketplace.

If you have truly lived your life in this community, experiencing the complete Concord and not merely sleepwalking through life, then your concerns, thoughts, ideas and feelings warrant more than a mere brush-off.

I don’t consider myself to be an obstructionist or someone who simply wants to find fault or complain for the sake of doing so.  The fact that no one is certain where all of the monies are coming from, should raise concern in even a casual observer.

I remember the era of “Never trust anyone over 30” and the desire of previous generations to leave their mark on the landscape and to make changes they feel will be beneficial for society.    

What troubles me, however, about this whole project is the almost adamant refusal of those in charge of it to genuinely want to solicit opinions, comments, options and ideas from a genuine cross-section of Concord, not just those who are in total or near complete agreement with them. It almost seems like they want their ideas rubber stamped without the kind of discussion a change of this magnitude truly deserves since its effects will be forever felt.

I respect those who truly believe this is the right course of action but do not feel that those who disagree – especially those who have offered options for consideration – are afforded the same level of respect. Instead, their concerns are considered to be a refusal to jump aboard the “Love Train”, without knowing what the consequences may be around the next corner.

I’ve written to councilors and the Mayor without as much as the courtesy of a form letter response.

When I noted this to a lawyer friend he chuckled and told me, “This city has its own way of doing things. Go re-watch “The Godfather” and that’ll give you some insight!”

A longtime former City Councilor, now retired, went further and noted, “It’s like a Coven over there at City Hall and those witches have an evil agenda.”

It seems everyone has a strong opinion including those who have suggested I leave town if I don’t like the way the future of Concord is shaping up.

I have tremendous admiration for the youthful enthusiasm and passionate belief that this project is just what the city needs displayed by many. My opinions are not mired in cynicism or bitterness as I move into the autumn of my years. Anyone who has read my book will know how much I love this shining jewel on the banks of the Merrimack.

In fact I was looking forward to helping generate revenue and jobs for the community if the discussed film version of my book were shot locally. The impending changes, which will render a Concord vastly different than the one described on the printed page, have made the producer considering a Canadian location.

What saddens me about the Main Street Project is the way in which it has divided people into opposing camps. If you don’t jump with glee at the prospects of a new downtown, your concerns have no place at the table, while those who are thrilled at what they believe is waiting around the corner, seem to have unrealistic expectations as to what may not magically occur.

Concord has many problems that need addressing. They include scores of streets badly in need of repair. We can’t keep our swimming pools open beyond August 9th and we should have a resource like our library open seven days a week, year round. Finally, we are barely 3 months away from cold weather and the continued probability of a homeless problem of biblical proportions.

Our City has always been viewed as a place with an enormous heart and a loving spirit. Do we really have any business jumping into unchartered waters without knowing how we’ll pay for it before we tackle some of the long-standing “housekeeping” problems?

Why not work together on those and then find a way to work together on Main Street?