Helping Others and Remembering Molly Banzhoff

I used to love to write. I blogged and wrote articles for the Concord Monitor and here on PATCH. I still write in my head all the time, but these past two and a half years have changed me. For a while I couldn’t really speak let alone write and then as the dust of Molly’s death began to settle and the magnitude of the hole her absence created overwhelmed me it was too painful to actively think. My go to cure for a troubled life has always been to get involved in as many things as possible to fill the time. In my childhood I was the girl who played two instruments, belonged to several clubs and did a variety of sports. No time to waste being sad or afraid when you’re too busy to think. I kept this pattern of behavior up throughout my adult life and even during my happy times you could always find me at some event, or team practice, or a road race. When I lost my job with the school district I busied myself with tap dancing, Crossfit and five part time jobs. I spent hours with Gracie and Molly and hours away from them. I believe Molly dying is the first thing that truly hobbled me. I sat in a chair in my yard for 6 months and then on the porch wrapped in a blanket throughout most of the winter. My mind during these months spun out of control. I worked out some but really just moved through a grey fog. Time makes no sense to me now as I often feel Molly just died a moment ago. At the same time, I often wonder if she was ever really here. It is too big to think about and so mostly I don’t.

Like many parents who have lost a child do, we (Kenny Gracie and I) have done many things to honor Molly. Her friends have as well. We have a fund called the MollyB Scholarship Fund and through different events we raise money to help children do the things Molly loved to do. The main fundraiser is a shirt design made by Derek and Kayla Taylor. Derek and Molly were good friends and in the aftermath of her death he spent a lot of time with us. The first round of the now iconic MollyB shirts paid for Molly’s burial. We have re-opened the site several times since her death and raised money for pink violins, dance and theater scholarships, and an award at Rundlett Middle School called “The Sprirt of MollyB Award”. Most recently we created a tie-dye MollyB shirt to raise money for suicide awareness in honor of the father of one of Gracie’s dance students. Another dance friend Alyssa Stanley has been tireless in raising money in Molly’s memory. We recently had a fundraiser at Orange Leaf. On a rainy Tuesday night in September the frozen yogurt shop was FULL of all sorts of people from Molly’s life. Like many community events, we found lots of connections between the people Molly touched. It was a terrific night and we all got to talk about Molly.

We have the t-shirt site open again. It will be active for another ten days. This time around we are delegating the money raised to three things. We will continue to use money from the tie-dye shirts to bring awareness to organizations that teach suicide prevention and offer support for families affected by suicide. We will divide the remaining money between the Concord Dance Academy Booster Club and the purchase of more pink violins for the elementary schools in Concord. Molly was always concerned about the well-being of others. She loved her dance time at CDA and she loved her pink violin. These shirts will offer all of those things to those who need them. They also do two things for us as a family. They give us purpose and positive forward movement in the aftermath of Molly’s death, and they comfort us when we see people wearing them. I hear wonderful things from people who share their “Molly stories” when they are asked about her. We fear she will be forgotten. With the holiday season approaching, people who are grieving can truly struggle. A MollyB shirt or hoodie is a great way to brighten someone’s reality. It makes us, her family happy and it brings joy to the recipients of the gifts the MollyB Scholarship Fund provides. There are also MollyB Sweat Pants available through me. That money provides a year of dance lessons for a child who would otherwise not be able to participate. Those can be purchased directly from me. Email me at run2win893@aol.com for those.

This sounds a bit like a sales pitch, and perhaps it is. Helping others is something Molly did ALL the time. As her mother I feel it is my responsibility to honor her through generosity. I am lucky to be her Mum. I miss her. I’ll be getting back to writing now, so look for my articles here. I am also appreciative of input for story ideas, questions to answer, and topics for articles. If my writing can be of help to even one person then I will get back at it. Happy Holidays everybody.

https://www.customink.com/fundraising/mollyb-fundraiser?