Cliffwood Beach Memorial Celebrates Life Cut Short

If you have taken a walk at Cliffwood Beach, you have probably noticed that perched on a promontory overlooking Whale Creek and the Raritan Bay is a grove of trees. Sheltered below one of these trees is a memorial to a 20-year-old Matawan resident who took his own life six years ago.

On September 6, 2014, Cody Murphy committed suicide on that scenic hill. According to Greg Giovinazzo, his oldest brother, that spot was special to Cody because it was the place where he and his friends often gathered around a bonfire on the beach. The day after Cody died, those same friends gathered at that very same spot to create a memorial for him.

The memorial consists of a wooden crucifix tied around the base of the tree-- as well as a variety of objects, each of which has "a special meaning between Cody and the person who left them behind," says Debbie McFadden, Murphy's mother. For example, a four leaf clover represents Cody's Irish heritage, a skateboard reflects his favorite pastime, and a dream catcher honors his Native American ancestry.

The dream catcher is particularly significant, Cody's family says, because he had originally hung it over his bed-- along with the words: "I only want to have good dreams." Cody suffered from depression, and he tried to find peace by surrounding himself with spiritual symbols.

The very last words in Cody's note to his family were: "Don't worry, be happy." Although it has been difficult for the family to move past the pain of losing him, this song lyric has taken on more meaning to them as time goes on.

In an effort to increase suicide awareness after Cody's death, his family ran a fundraiser featuring t-shirts and hoodies decorated with the famous phrase and the smiley face emblem of Blink 182, Cody's favorite band. Additionally, Cody's friends bring posters containing pictures of him to concerts. In fact, McFadden says that during a recent Warped Tour, "He (Cody) was chosen to sit in the VIP section as a special guest."

Offering advice to other families who have lost loved ones to suicide, McFadden says: "You have to allow yourself time to smile or laugh. It's OK to do so because, ultimately, you are not betraying your child's memory. He or she would not want you to spend the rest of your life grieving them, but instead they would want you to be happy. You will never forget your child, but you can honor their memory."