Monmouth County Mom: My Son Relapsed During The Quarantine

In normal times, it's difficult for this Monmouth County mom to witness her adult son struggle to stop using heroin.

During the pandemic, it's turned into a nightmare.

The Monmouth County woman, 59, does not want to reveal her name or where she lives. But her youngest son, 29, has been battling a heroin and alcohol addiction for the past several years. She decided to share with Patch what her family has been experiencing over the past seven weeks locked at home.

Before the virus, things were actually going smoothly, she said.

"My son has always lived with me. He moved out a few times over the years, but it never works out. He is on the methadone program at a new clinic," she shared. "Before the virus he was doing pretty good: Going to the methadone clinic and not using — seldom drinking. He does smoke pot, because it helps so much with anxiety."

Things started to unravel in mid-March, when the lockdown orders first went into place. First, his methadone clinic closed.

"He used to go to the clinic every day, and he used to get counseling — now they give him two week's worth (of methadone) at a drive-by pick up," she said.

Her son does not work. He could not go to his daily counseling sessions. Stuck at home and bored — with days upon days of empty time on his hands — he was drawn to a camp of homeless men who live in the woods nearby.

"When this first happened, they closed the local soup kitchen and the homeless had nowhere to eat," she explained. "My son took it upon himself to get them food, cooking my food at my house and taking it to them. He would stay there and hang out and eventually started using with them. He started drinking with them the first week of the lockdown."

Things got worse from there. Her son would get into physical fights with the homeless men, and come home in an intoxicated rage.

"It worried me sick as I was afraid he would bring the virus home to me," she said.

She made him stay in the basement and also made him shower whenever he returned from the homeless camp. She's called the police to their home several times throughout the quarantine; one night her son was sent to the local ER, because he had been injured in a fight and was also threatening suicide.

"Typically they keep him overnight when this happens, but because of the virus they treated his wounds and called me to come get him."

The coronavirus has made his addiction struggle worse, she said.

"He is very stressed about things and stress triggers addicts to use," she said. "I can't make him leave when he acts up. In the past I could threaten to remove him, but now I cannot evict him due to coronavirus."

"New Jersey has made it extremely hard for people in recovery"

Daniel Regan, who owns Relevance Behavioral Health addiction treatment center in Freehold, has been hearing stories just like this one for the past two months. At the start of the pandemic, addiction experts warned that drug and alcohol abuse would skyrocket during the quarantine. It's absolutely ringing true here in Monmouth County, he said.

"We've seen a 25 percent increase in calls to our center, and that's just in April alone," he said. "We are seeing a huge increase in relapses for people who are addicted to alcohol and heroin. I've done seven interventions in the past two weeks."

Regan, 29, is himself in recovery, and runs five sober living facilities in Monmouth and Ocean counties, including Relevance. He founded CFC (Coming Full Circle) Loud 'N Clear Foundation with his mom, Lynn Regan, when he stopped using drugs.

According to Regan, New Jersey made several crucial mistakes in the coronavirus shutdown, particularly when it comes to people trying to beat addiction.

"Shutting down methadone clinics was a mistake. There is no reason they should have stopped doing daily individual counseling; it's completely unethical," he said.

"He has not been allowed to go inside and speak to his counselor at all," said the mom.

Regan said he kept offering daily therapy at his center throughout the quarantine, possibly in violation of Murphy's orders.

"Yea, it was a risk, but we did it. There is no reason a methadone clinic shouldn't be able to provide these services," he said. "These people really need that daily counseling session. They depend on that. They are in such a fragile state."

Secondly, the decision by methadone clinics to stop dispensing daily meds, and instead give addicts a two-week supply: Another mistake.

"You give addicts a two-week of supply of anything, and it's party time. It's like a drug dealer giving you free heroin," he said. "It's totally unfair to someone who is in that position."

Indeed, the Monmouth County mom said when her son was given his first two week's supply of methadone, he threatened to "take it all at once."

"New Jersey has made it extremely hard for people in recovery to exercise their recovery," said Regan. "We've seen a lot of AA meetings just shut down and stop meeting in person, and it's not the same on Zoom. Plus, not everyone has smartphones. Shutting down the parks was also a huge mistake. People need to get outside and exercise, walk and get fresh air."

Gov. Phil Murphy dramatically reversed course Wednesday, announcing that state and county parks will reopen at sunrise this Saturday, May 2. When told that, Regan said "Thank God."

The isolating effects a quarantine can have on mental health cannot be overstated.

"We're also hearing about a lot of people in their 60s, alcoholics, who are choosing to sit at home and drink until the coronavirus is over," he said. "This is extremely dangerous. These people are hard-core alcoholics; they are not just having a couple beers. They live alone, nobody can check on them. They watch the news all day and then they self-medicate."

"We're hearing from a lot of people in a dark place right now," said Regan.

A heroin spike may be coming when New Jersey opens back up

The Monmouth County mom said her son started using drugs when he was 13. She has an older son, 35, who served nine years in the U.S. Air Force and owns his own home in Colorado. He does not abuse drugs or alcohol. She raised both boys as a single parent; their father was an alcoholic, she said.

Her youngest has done rehab before, but it never lasts long.

"He only stayed five days in rehab," she said. "I think he needs the 90-day program."

Things have actually improved in April, she said. She bought a tent and warned him that he would have to start sleeping outside in the yard if he continued to hang out with the homeless men.

"So far he is behaving and using less," she said. "He is using his methadone; he says he never wants to get hooked on (heroin) again. Now he drinks and smokes pot and it's not too bad ... he is working on getting housing."

With ports and shipping shut down, it's actually very hard to find heroin right now in New Jersey, said Regan. For now, drug users are relying on Kratom, an opiate-like substance that is completely legal and is sold in convenience stores (Regan does not think it should be legal). But once things open back up again, he predicts there will be a spike in heroin usage, accompanied by the resulting fatal overdoses.

"For everyone out there struggling, if you are in a relapse, please don't let fear hold you back from getting help," Regan pleaded.

His message for elected officials, from President Trump down to Gov. Murphy?

"We've been fighting an addiction pandemic for the past ten years. We've had 55,000 people die of coronavirus so far in the U.S. Last year alone, we had 74,000 people die from opiate overdoses. And that's not even including crack, meth or alcohol," said Regan. "Seeing the response to coronavirus, from all of us in the trenches fighting addiction, we would like them to pay attention to this other pandemic that's been going on."

Do you think you have a drug or alcohol problem? ReachNJ is a 24-hour-a-day, 7 day-a-week addiction hotline where people who have Substance Use Disorder (SUD) or friends and family of people with SUD can get immediate assistance and support from live, New Jersey-based, trained addiction counselors.

Call their toll-free number, 844-732-2465 (Or 844-ReachNJ) to reach a live staff member who will help connect you to treatment.