After Stillbirth, Woman Launches Perinatal Loss Bereavement Group

East Northport resident Kristin Ferriggi continues to grieve the loss of her son John, who was stillborn three and a half years ago, by helping other families who are coping with the same pain.

Ferriggi delivered John at 35 weeks on Sept. 5, 2014 at Huntington Hospital. While she had a good experience with the staff, she says the hospital offered no support group to help her cope with her loss.

She instead began traveling to Manhasset to attend meetings for GAPS, which stands for Guardian Angel Perinatal Support. There, Ferriggi saw families who experienced the same thing as her. She saw them continuing on with their regular lives and learned she could one day do the same.

“These groups were so crucial for my bereavement and grief,” she told Patch. “I felt that I wasn’t alone.”

Ferriggi, who is married with two young daughters, soon became inspired to work on jumpstarting a bereavement group at Huntington Hospital. “I really wanted to help other families,” she said.

In September 2016, Ferriggi met with Mariel McDonnell, a nurse-turned-friend who was there for her stillbirth. McDonnell put Ferriggi in contact with someone who had the same goals as her when it came to improving perinatal bereavement at Huntington Hospital: Kacey Farber.

Farber has been the social worker at Huntington Hospital since August 2015. She had no prior experience handling perinatal loss, but felt the hospital’s process was antiquated.

“This is one of the worst tragedies for a family to endure, and I’m handing them photocopies,” Farber said. “It didn’t sit right with me that that was our response.”

By March 2017, Farber had already worked with six families who lost their babies. “That was a tipping point for me,” she said.

Using information from GAPS, the Star Legacy Foundation and other groups and programs Ferriggi discovered over the years, she and Farber put several months of work into developing their own group.

They launched the Huntington Hospital Perinatal and Infant Loss Bereavement group this past February and have been meeting twice a month. One meeting each month is an open forum while the second one is topic specific. They discuss topics such as memorializing your baby, coping with anger and taking care of yourself.

“Parents who experience a loss are part of a club we never wanted to be a part of, but we’re glad we have each other,” Ferriggi said.

Some doctors don’t even discuss the possibility of perinatal loss with expecting families. Many people don’t know where to go, what to do, or how to handle their grief after they experience a loss. This group helps with that.

“It’s giving families a voice and a place to share stories about their children,” Farber said.

For Ferriggi, she says creating this group is part of her own journey in continuing to heal.

Parents and extended family members who have experienced a loss that may not fit into the timeframe of a miscarriage or stillbirth are welcome to attend the meetings as well.

Farber has also made some big strides when it comes to perinatal loss at Huntington Hospital. She’s made connections with local funeral homes, like Nolan & Taylor-Howe Funeral Home in Northport, that don’t “charge for an angel” and will come to the hospital to meet with families to make accommodations.

After a loss, Huntington Hospital will take family photos and create memory boxes that save the child’s footprint or a lock of their hair.

“You only have maybe six to 24 hours with your child, and that’s all that you’re going to have in your lifetime,” Farber says.

Having keepsakes to memorialize your child is important for the grieving process. Some volunteers crochet outfits for the babies and give parents a separate square as a keepsake.

“John was placed in a crocheted one piece, and I was given a square and wore it in my shirt," Ferriggi said. “That was everything to me.”

Farber hopes to plan a candlelight vigil in October, which is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, and set up a memorial garden at the front entrance of Huntington Hospital to honor the children lost.

Anyone interested in attending the Huntington Hospital Perinatal and Infant Loss Bereavement group can check out its Facebook page, or contact Farber at kfarber@northwell.org or (631) 796-5636.

“I’m never going to get over the loss of my son, but by helping other people, it continues to heal me,” Ferriggi said.

Photos via Kristin Ferriggi:

1. Kristin Ferriggi with her husband Rich, and her daughters Elle, age 2 1/2, and Jenna, age 7.
2. John's memorial garden in Ferriggi's backyard.